The Unfelt Love

Sometimes we just fall to be broken!

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Recollecting my thoughts of being with you brings nothing more than tears to my eyes. The first time we ever spoke felt so good and contending but as years flew by you became just another mistake I wanted to repent upon. I was so unsure about how I felt about being with you; I was so scared at the thought of spending the successive years with your demons. No matter what I did, how I did I was always less for you and I could only blame myself for letting you down. You were the most priced possession I ever had, the only storm I wanted to be a part of, the only misery I wanted to ruin me, the only fire I wanted to be burnt by.

It took me two fucking years to realise that I was more than just your rebukes and scolding. I was much more than the torture you had to offer. I was much more than just being your sex slave. Maybe I was too blinded by the thought of loving you and comforting you. Maybe I was too blinded by the idea that you love me too, or maybe I was just being an asshole. Today when I look back and see the self I was: I feel disgusted at the sight and me. You have possibly managed to make me hate you and loath every minute spent with you. Every time you’ve touched me makes me feel pathetic and cheap. But as they say not every investment is a waste, some fetch you profits and some experiences. You happen to be my biggest lesson, my biggest experience and a manual for every girl on “How not to lose your self-respect”.

But not being the selfish self (as you quoted) I would like to thank you for making me someone better, giving me some sense of self respect and making me ready for someone worth me.

My Walk Down The Street!

Walking down the streets

I realize the streets have wounded my knees: I’m bleeding;

But they’ve taught me

To make mere gravel the stepping stones to success;

Walking down the dark wintry streets

I realize the darkness has made me frightened: I’m scared;

But it has taught me to pave my way in the dark;

Walking down the lonely streets

I realize loneliness has become my custodian: I’m abandoned;

But it has taught me to be me;

Walking down the laughing streets

I realize that I’ve become a mocking stock: I’m joked;

But it has taught me to make people glad;

Walking down the streets

I wonder why I’ve landed here when I’m not needed

But then I think

I’m maybe a bit different

Maybe here people don’t understand me

Walking down the streets

I realize the streets have changed: I’m noticed

But then the streets tell me to be earthed

They tell me to succeed with pride and not shame

They tell me to recall all lessons learned

Walking down the streets

I realize I’ve changed; I’m in demand

But I need to be in pace

Walking down the streets

I think I’ll go far now; I’m determined,

But how far?

I’m sitting on the street and still brooding over my walk

Where it has leaded me and where it will lead me?